Quote

Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Negative
Stuffed
Makes
Line
Meanwhile
Please
Jars
Gratis
Return
Negotiation
Notary
Minutes
Include
Hancock
Portions
Dotted
Lines
Humorous
Cabbage
Wonderful
Minute
Bargaining
Funny

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
Woody Allen
Image
One filmmaker makes films that are deep, intellectual, profound and confrontational. And the other one makes purely vacuous, escapist films. I'm not sure the one who makes escapist films is making a poorer contribution than the one who makes the deeper films.
Woody Allen
Image
My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
Woody Allen
Image
Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
Woody Allen
Image
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Woody Allen
Image
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
Image
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen
Image
I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
Woody Allen
Image
Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
Woody Allen
Image
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
Image
For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
Woody Allen
Image
The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.
Woody Allen
Image
Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
Woody Allen
Image
I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
Image
When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
Woody Allen
Image
I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
Woody Allen
Image
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
Woody Allen
Image
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
Woody Allen
Image
Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Woody Allen
Image
I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
Woody Allen