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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Behave
Achievement
Gift
Born
Right
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That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
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I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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