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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sometimes
Dishes
Like
Meals
Joke
Seriously
Dinner
Jokes
Sex
Take
Meal
More quotes by Woody Allen
The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
Woody Allen
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
Woody Allen
I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
Woody Allen
. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
Woody Allen
When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
Woody Allen
And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
Woody Allen
If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
Woody Allen
Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
Woody Allen
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
Woody Allen
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
Woody Allen
I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers
Woody Allen
We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
Woody Allen
Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
Woody Allen
I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
Woody Allen
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen
Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen