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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Joke
Seriously
Dinner
Jokes
Sex
Take
Meal
Sometimes
Dishes
Like
Meals
More quotes by Woody Allen
Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
Woody Allen
When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
Woody Allen
Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
Woody Allen
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
Woody Allen
I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
Woody Allen
I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
Woody Allen
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
Woody Allen
There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
Woody Allen
I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
Woody Allen
I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
Woody Allen
Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
Woody Allen
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen
I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
Woody Allen
I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
Woody Allen
Why ruin a good story with the truth?
Woody Allen
In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
Woody Allen
When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
Woody Allen
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
Woody Allen
