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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Seriously
Dinner
Jokes
Sex
Take
Meal
Sometimes
Dishes
Like
Meals
Joke
More quotes by Woody Allen
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
Woody Allen
Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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One filmmaker makes films that are deep, intellectual, profound and confrontational. And the other one makes purely vacuous, escapist films. I'm not sure the one who makes escapist films is making a poorer contribution than the one who makes the deeper films.
Woody Allen
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
Woody Allen
When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
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I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody Allen
Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female.
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The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
Woody Allen
I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
Woody Allen
If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
Woody Allen
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
