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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Joke
Seriously
Dinner
Jokes
Sex
Take
Meal
Sometimes
Dishes
Like
Meals
More quotes by Woody Allen
Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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I am two with nature.
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
