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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Incompetent
Enough
More quotes by Woody Allen
I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
Woody Allen
Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
Woody Allen
Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much.
Woody Allen
I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian.
Woody Allen
Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health.
Woody Allen
I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
Woody Allen
There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
Woody Allen
When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
Woody Allen
I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
Woody Allen
When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen
I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Woody Allen
Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
Woody Allen
Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
Woody Allen
The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
Woody Allen
My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
Woody Allen
I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive.
Woody Allen
The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
Woody Allen
