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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Names
Decisions
Asks
Letters
Woman
Career
Tell
Careers
Give
Marriage
Giving
Name
Derby
Decision
Roller
Beauty
Marry

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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
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If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
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Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
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Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.
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When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
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When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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