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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
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History is the same thing over and over again.
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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
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Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
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I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.
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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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No Matter what you do there will be critics.
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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
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The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
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Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
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