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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Make
Life
Chess
Mistakes
Mistake
Heaven

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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office? All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.
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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
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Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
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I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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