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I didn't know he was dead I thought he was British.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Thought
British
Dead
Funny
Didn

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
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I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
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Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen
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You can't anticipate in the room the riches of what you encounter when you're location hunting for a movie.
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Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
Woody Allen
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
Woody Allen
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
Woody Allen
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Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
Woody Allen
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My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Woody Allen
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Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
Woody Allen
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
Woody Allen
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen
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No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
Woody Allen