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Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Ends
Long
Really
Hilarious
Near
Eternity
Especially
Funny
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
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One filmmaker makes films that are deep, intellectual, profound and confrontational. And the other one makes purely vacuous, escapist films. I'm not sure the one who makes escapist films is making a poorer contribution than the one who makes the deeper films.
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She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
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Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
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