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I hope you're getting this down.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Getting
Hope

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
Woody Allen
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.
Woody Allen
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When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
Woody Allen
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
Woody Allen
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It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
Woody Allen
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Those who can't do, teach!
Woody Allen
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
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Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
Woody Allen
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
Woody Allen
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
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Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.
Woody Allen
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Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
Woody Allen
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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
Woody Allen
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
Woody Allen
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen
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The best things in life are censored.
Woody Allen
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Woody Allen
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
Woody Allen
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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen