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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Psychology
York
Europe

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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
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I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
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Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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If I can play a scene in a master shot, I always prefer it. And the actors always prefer it. It's fun to look at on the screen, the actors get a chance to sink their teeth into something substantial, and it's economically helpful.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution.
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Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
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