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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Psychology
York
Europe

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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
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My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
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Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
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Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.
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