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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Persons
Person
Always
Happier
Hated
Feelings
Become

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No Matter what you do there will be critics.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
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