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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Take
Negative
Think
Smart
Thinking
Positive
Leave
Point
Funny
Wish
Points
Two
Clever
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
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Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
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You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
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The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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All i have in my life is my imagination
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