Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
Woody Allen
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Two
Clever
Take
Negative
Think
Smart
Thinking
Positive
Leave
Point
Funny
Wish
Points
More quotes by Woody Allen
I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
Woody Allen
I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
Woody Allen
Chastity is curable, if detected early.
Woody Allen
I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
Woody Allen
Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
Woody Allen
[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
Woody Allen
Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
Woody Allen
There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
Woody Allen
Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
Woody Allen
Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Woody Allen
I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
Woody Allen
You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
Woody Allen
Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
Woody Allen
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen
Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
Woody Allen