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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Things
Revolving
Skiing
Door
Except
Doors
Possible

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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
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It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
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When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
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I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
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Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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