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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Things
Revolving
Skiing
Door
Except
Doors
Possible
More quotes by Woody Allen
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
Woody Allen
Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
