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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
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Character Actor
Clarinetist
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New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
Woody Allen
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Woody Allen
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Woody Allen
Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody Allen
Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
Woody Allen
I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
Woody Allen
I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.
Woody Allen
This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again.
Woody Allen
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen
To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
Woody Allen
I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen
At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
Woody Allen
In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
Woody Allen
I myself don't like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don't like to speak to them. I don't like to have lunch with them. I don't like to socialize with them. I don't like to hear their ideas.
Woody Allen
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Woody Allen
[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen
As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
Woody Allen
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Woody Allen
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Woody Allen
