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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Humorous
Dirty
Sex
Done
Right
More quotes by Woody Allen
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
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I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
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When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
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I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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