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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
Dirty
Sex
Done
Right
Witty
More quotes by Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
Woody Allen
I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
Woody Allen
You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
Woody Allen
I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
Woody Allen
Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody Allen
I think I've gotten technically better over the years but you'd have to be a fool not to. I've made so many movies that by sheer quantity you get better at the technique.
Woody Allen
I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
Woody Allen
For some reason it gives people pleasure to equate the life of certain movie actors or actresses with their actual lives.
Woody Allen
My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign
Woody Allen
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody Allen
The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
Woody Allen
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
Woody Allen
My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
Woody Allen
I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
Woody Allen
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
Woody Allen
She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
Woody Allen
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
Woody Allen
