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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Humorous
Dirty
Sex
Done
Right
More quotes by Woody Allen
He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
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I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
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My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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