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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Lasts
Love
Unrequited

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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.
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