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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sex
Funny
Done
Right
Humorous
Dirty

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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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I think I've gotten technically better over the years but you'd have to be a fool not to. I've made so many movies that by sheer quantity you get better at the technique.
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A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
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I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
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You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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