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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Absolutely
Sex
Wonderful
Woman
Right
Men
Provided

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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
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