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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Five
Funny
Beautiful
Two
Thing
Fantastic
Believe
Sex
People
Humor
Comedy

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
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Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody Allen
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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Woody Allen
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
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My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
Woody Allen
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
Woody Allen