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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Comedy
Five
Funny
Beautiful
Two
Thing
Fantastic
Believe
Sex
People
Humor

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
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My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
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Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
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Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
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Death is an acquired trait.
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch.
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
Woody Allen