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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Causes
Funny
Love
Alleviates
Alleviate
Tension
Sex
More quotes by Woody Allen
Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
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I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
Woody Allen
The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
Woody Allen