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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Love
Alleviates
Alleviate
Tension
Sex
Causes
Funny

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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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There's no correlation between what the public likes and what I'm after. I'm in a different world.
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I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
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Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
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I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
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Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I find it easier to remember three minutes of dialogue than three hours.
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
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I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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