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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Alleviates
Alleviate
Tension
Sex
Causes
Funny
Love

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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
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I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
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Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
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It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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