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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sex
Adverts
Laughing
Golfing
Fun
Golfers
Without
Fishing
Witty
Humorous
Advertising
Golf
More quotes by Woody Allen
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
Woody Allen
I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
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The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
Woody Allen
I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
Woody Allen
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Woody Allen
Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
Woody Allen
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
Woody Allen
For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
Woody Allen
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen
My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
Woody Allen
Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
Woody Allen
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
Woody Allen
I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
Woody Allen
You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
Woody Allen
