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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Knock
Humorous
Sex
Movie
Someone
Love
Infamy
Masturbation
Palms
More quotes by Woody Allen
When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
Woody Allen
I don't know enough to be incompetent.
Woody Allen
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen
Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
Woody Allen
They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
Woody Allen
No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
Woody Allen
I am an only child. I have one sister.
Woody Allen
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
Woody Allen
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen
I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep.
Woody Allen
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
Woody Allen
You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?
Woody Allen
I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
Woody Allen
I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
Woody Allen
The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
Woody Allen
I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
Woody Allen
I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
Woody Allen
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
Woody Allen
When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
Woody Allen
