Quote

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Movie
Someone
Love
Infamy
Masturbation
Palms
Knock
Humorous
Sex

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive.
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When I was a young man, my friends and I and all of us in New York were very influenced by French cinema. French cinema played an enormous influence on those of us who wanted to be filmmakers.
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I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
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Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
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The content dictates the style all the time. That's the way it is. If the content of the film - as in Husbands and Wives - is highly jagged, neurotic, fast-paced, nervous New York film, it just called for that kind of shooting, editing and performance.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
Woody Allen
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Woody Allen
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For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
Woody Allen
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
Woody Allen
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
Woody Allen
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Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
Woody Allen
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New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
Woody Allen