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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Bridges
Hands
Partners
Better
Humorous
Good
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Love
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Life
Sex
Masturbation
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Playing
Bridge
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Partner
More quotes by Woody Allen
Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
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The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office? All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.
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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
Woody Allen
Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
Woody Allen
