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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
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Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
Woody Allen
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Woody Allen
Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
Woody Allen
My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
Woody Allen
Me and nature are two.
Woody Allen
We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
Woody Allen
When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
Woody Allen
It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
Woody Allen
Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
Woody Allen
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
Woody Allen
What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
Woody Allen
I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
Woody Allen
New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
Woody Allen
It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
Woody Allen
The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
Woody Allen
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Woody Allen
I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
Woody Allen
Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
Woody Allen
