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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Smoking
Humorous
Smoke
Fast
Sex
Anniversary
Funny
Tobacco
Remember
Cigarette

More quotes by Woody Allen

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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
Woody Allen
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
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Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
Woody Allen
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
Woody Allen
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I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
Woody Allen
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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
Woody Allen
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I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
Woody Allen
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You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Woody Allen
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
Woody Allen
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
Woody Allen
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
Woody Allen
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody Allen
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
Woody Allen
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Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
Woody Allen
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
Woody Allen
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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Woody Allen
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Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much.
Woody Allen