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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
English
Words
Language
Important
Love
Benign

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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
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I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
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Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
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If I can play a scene in a master shot, I always prefer it. And the actors always prefer it. It's fun to look at on the screen, the actors get a chance to sink their teeth into something substantial, and it's economically helpful.
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Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
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Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch.
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