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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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English
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Important
Love
More quotes by Woody Allen
But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I find it easier to remember three minutes of dialogue than three hours.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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