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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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English
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Important
Love
More quotes by Woody Allen
I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
Woody Allen
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen
Those who can't do, teach!
Woody Allen
I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
Woody Allen
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody Allen
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
Woody Allen
The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
Woody Allen
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
Woody Allen
My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
Woody Allen
I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
Woody Allen
I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen
If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
Woody Allen
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
Woody Allen
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
Woody Allen
The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
Woody Allen
My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Woody Allen
