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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Believe
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Swiss
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More quotes by Woody Allen
I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much.
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I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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