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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
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Allan Stewart Konigsberg
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Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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When I was a young man, my friends and I and all of us in New York were very influenced by French cinema. French cinema played an enormous influence on those of us who wanted to be filmmakers.
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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The movie is usually, for me, something organic that grows all the time. I sit home and write it, and I'm in an isolated, four-walled environment, and I don't know what's going on. I just write it, and it's appearing in my head in some idealized way where every single moment works, and every little thing is perfect, because it's in my head.
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
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The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
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I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
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