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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dean
Cheating
Thrown
Wife

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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?
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I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
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Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
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God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
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Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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