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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Men
Immortal
Meat
Bills
Realize
Realizing
Would

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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
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Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
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No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
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I am two with nature.
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
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The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
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