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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Immortal
Meat
Bills
Realize
Realizing
Would
Men
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
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I hope you're getting this down.
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
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I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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I didn't know he was dead I thought he was British.
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Marriage is the death of hope.
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I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
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Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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