Quote

You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Control
Masturbation
Doesn
Expert
Experts
Art
Perfectly
Two
Absolutes
Life
Absolute
Areas
Wind

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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
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And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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