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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Doesn
Expert
Art
Experts
Two
Perfectly
Life
Absolutes
Absolute
Areas
Wind
Control
Masturbation

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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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I'm awash in self-contempt!
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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