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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Turn
Turns
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Light
Red
Able
Advantage
Right
City
Make
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Cities
More quotes by Woody Allen
When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
Woody Allen
Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
Woody Allen
If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
Woody Allen
Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
Woody Allen
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Woody Allen
Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
Woody Allen
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
Woody Allen
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody Allen
Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
Woody Allen
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
Woody Allen
Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody Allen
Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
Woody Allen
In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
Woody Allen
My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
Woody Allen
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen
