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I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Organized
Envy
Atheism
Religious
Religion
Brainwashed
Persons
Hustle
Person
Occasionally
Without
Naturally

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When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
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Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
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I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
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My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
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Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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