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Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Baseball
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Beer
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
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I want to return to the womb, anyone's.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
Woody Allen
In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
Woody Allen
I loathed every day and regret every moment I spent in a school.
Woody Allen
I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
Woody Allen
There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
Woody Allen
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
Woody Allen
Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
Woody Allen
I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
90% of success in life is showing up
Woody Allen
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
Woody Allen
If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
Woody Allen
There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
Woody Allen
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
Woody Allen
