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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Near
Worse
Theater
Playing
Death
Many
Things
More quotes by Woody Allen
My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
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In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
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Why ruin a good story with the truth?
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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I want to return to the womb, anyone's.
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I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
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I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
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