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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Worse
Theater
Playing
Death
Many
Things
Near
More quotes by Woody Allen
I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
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You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
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If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
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Culturally speaking, I was raised in a Jewish household. In addition to the religious side of it, I was taught respect for books and learning and the higher professions like medicine and law and teaching.
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
Woody Allen
Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
Woody Allen
When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
Woody Allen
I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
Woody Allen
I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
Woody Allen
I'm awash in self-contempt!
Woody Allen
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
Woody Allen
