Quote

Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Difference
Dead
Differences
Somebody
Everybody
Morning
Find
Yells
Hard
Slippers

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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
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I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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